SUICIDE

"Alaska Native suicide rate more than twice that of non-Natives.” “The crisis in rural Alaska.” These are common headlines found in papers across Alaska. Suicide is a sensitive but urgent topic. It’s a painful fact of life here in my own community. We all know someone who has committed suicide, and for many, it has often been a close, dear loved one who has succumbed to it. Some families have even lost several family members to suicide.

White tanks near Front Street

I recently had a dream in which I was walking around Kotzebue, near the large white tanks near Front Street (if you know Kotzebue, you know what I am talking about). I saw a young man standing at the top of a tank, ready to jump to his death. I knew that he was suicidal but what did I do? I turned my back and pretended not to notice. If I pretended not to notice, it wasn’t happening. In my dream, I heard him jump to his death, which upset me a great deal. Just then an older cousin strolled up to me and I said to him, “He just committed suicide.” And flippantly, casually, he replied, “Oh, people do that all the time here.” And that was the end of my dream.

I think that this is an accurate representation of my culture’s attitude towards suicide. While I don’t think that we dismiss it so blatantly, we do not address it aggressively or effectively. I say aggressively and effectively because it is a matter of life and death and many individuals continue to take their own lives. 

I have many questions.

As friends and family members, what do we do to try to prevent a loved one from committing suicide? If someone we know is struggling emotionally, going through hard times and has even made suicidal gestures and/or attempts, what kind of help do we offer? What services are available, and furthermore, what culturally sensitive services are available? What are the reasons behind a person’s decision to not seek help and how can we address those reasons?

As a whole community, what are we doing to address the underlying issues that contribute to the high suicide rates? What steps are we taking to make our community healthier, happier, and more able to cope with life’s stressors? How do we become proactive, as opposed to reactive?

I am sure there are resources out there, but from my stance, from my perspective, I am just an ordinary member of my community. I hang out with my friends and family members, go to work, interact with my coworkers, etc. I am just like many other members of my community. From my stance, my questions go unanswered.

Finally, how do we mobilize a community of regular, ordinary individuals such as myself?

ENGLISH-ONLY, PLEASE.

I mentioned in a previous post that English is my first language. English is my first language just as it is my mother's first language. Inupiaq is my grandparent's first language.

When I was little I didn't necessarily believe in magic. I did, however, wish for one thing. Whenever I heard our elders speaking to each other in Inupiaq I would wish that I could magically understand them, that I could speak Inupiaq fluently and communicate with my elders in our own language. Whenever I heard them speak, I would concentrate very hard at the Inupiaq words and wait for the moment when I would begin to understand...

My Aana (grandmother) attended a boarding school at White Mountain, where she spoke of being punished for speaking Inupiaq. She lamented, "Who would want to teach their children Inupiaq if they were going to be punished?"

Punishing students for speaking Inupiaq in the classroom didn't only take place at boarding schools. A coworker of mine shared with me today that when she first started going to school (in her village of Kobuk) she could only speak Inupiaq. When she was caught speaking Inupiaq in the classroom the teachers would slap her hands as a form of punishment.

We've come a long way since those days but the damage has been done. Four generations of English-only speakers is the damage dealt in my family. Personally, I've always felt ashamed that I couldn't speak or understand Inupiaq and that shame had hindered my desire to learn it. Until now.

I have made a wonderful Inupiaq friend with whom I can learn Inupiaq. Having a language buddy is empowering and encouraging and fun! I was a little timid at first to pronounce our Inupiaq words and sounds but with practice that initial embarrassment has all but disappeared. As my friend gently reminded me, we can't speak Inupiaq perfectly the first time. At the end of our first session, which lasted about three hours, my throat hurt from practicing Inupiaq sounds and my brain was tired but I felt satisfied and content. Yes, it hurt so good.

What's more, yesterday I went into our NANA Regional Corp. Aqqaluk Trust office and obtained my very own copy of Coastal Dialect Inupiaq by Rosetta Stone! All I had to do was show my NANA Shareholder ID and fill out a mini questionnaire. Thank you NANA and thank you technology. I am excited to see where my Inupiaq language adventures take me.