SUICIDE: CONTINUED

There have been a string of deaths in the region lately, which takes it’s toll on community members. Living in small communities means that everyone is affected when a loved one dies. There was one tragic death - a suicide - that broke the hearts of many. A young Kotzebue man, a friend and relative, killed himself in October. Everyone, including myself, was shocked that this gentle, kind, funny man would do that. When things like this happens, you ask yourself, “What were the warning signs? What did we miss? How could we have helped?”

It’s heartbreaking when our people decide to take their lives, especially when help is available. When individuals take their own lives, some community members start pointing fingers, they start looking for someone to blame, a scapegoat. I think that blaming others is destructive to the community. It creates discord and resentment and doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.

Rather than looking for someone to blame, we should take a more constructive approach. We can begin to ask ourselves:

• Why do our people, especially our young people, lack the healthy coping skills needed in order to survive?
• What are the specific stressors that plague our communities and how can we teach our people to deal with these stressors in healthy ways?
• When did suicide become an acceptable “solution” to dealing with life’s problems? Why do our people even consider this as a solution to our problems?
• What are we going to do to prevent this from occurring with future generations? How are we going to address it?

It’s so hard when a loved one succumbs to this but it must be said: when a family member commits suicide, he or she made that choice. Their partners, family members, and friends did not force them to do it. Blaming someone will not bring that person back and it certainly doesn’t help ease the pain. I think it just creates more anger and hatred.

What’s really hard is when you see a loved one struggle and you can see them heading down that path. You recognize the warning signs and so you offer help, support and encouragement. But sometimes they don’t want help from others. What do you do in this situation? How can you help someone who won’t help themselves? Times like this I get discouraged and start to feel helpless.

I don’t think that there is one immediate, final solution to the problem. We must begin when our children are babies and let them know that they are secure and safe in our love and comfort. We must teach them healthy coping skills as children because life is hard and we need all the help we can get. We must encourage our people to make healthy, positive choices rather than turning to substances and alcohol. We must have effective crisis intervention programs that deal with the immediate situation as well as provide support long after the crisis has passed.

I recently came across a Facebook page called "I sing. You dance." (https://www.facebook.com/I.Sing.You.Dance). A young man from Toksook Bay, Byron Nicholai, created the page, which has nearly 9,600 likes. He is a Yup'ik singer and dancer whose first language is Yup'ik. On singing he wrote, "When I make my videos I just press record then sing what's on my mind. That's how I make the songs. I just start singing." Visit his page and you will just how talented he is.

Seeing young Indigenous people, like Byron Nicholai, who know and live their traditions, fills my heart with pride and hope. There is hope and we must keep on truckin'! 

We can look to our traditions - our language, our dances and songs, our hunting and fishing - everything -  to build strong, unshakeable identities that can withstand the troubles of life. Our ancestors survived for thousands of years in the harsh Arctic climate and we can draw on our traditions to deal with modern issues. We just have to be creative and proactive.